Ah Nathan, Nathan, Nathan…
Aidan says: Where the f**k are my stamps, a*****e!?!?
Nathan says: F**k you b***h… I was gonna give you them, but now I’m just gonna lick the gummy goodness off the back and throw them away….
Every Thursday is ‘Massage Day’ at work and every week there is a competition between the producers and developers to see who can get the first massage.
Immature? Yes.
Funny? Pretty much.
You see, if someone from one team gets the first massage, they reserve the next massage for someone else in their team and the other team may not get a massage at all that week since she’s only around for a couple of hours.
This week, Chris and I noticed that 1. the masseuse was very late so probably wouldn’t stay as long anyway, and 2. all of the project managers were getting in there before us, so we definitely weren’t going to get a massage if the developers got in there first.
Every five minutes Nathan (developer) would jump out of his chair and start to sprint towards the masseuse as soon as someone else finished, but one of the project managers always got there before him (they sit closer).
So Chris (fellow producer) and myself worked out our strategy – he pretended to walk to the bathroom at 9 minutes into one of the project manager’s massage and took a sudden right to the massage chair just as she was finishing.
At this point, Nathan was so desperate to get a massage that he started hanging around in the company kitchen, staring at the masseuse, twitching nervously.
But Chris and I had our strategy planned and already in action. Chris took his phone and called me as soon as his massage finished – I got up out of my chair, pretended it was an important call I had to take outside the office and started to walk towards the door. Just as I got to the masseuse, I looked at Nathan, smiled, hung up and sat in the chair after shaking Chris’ hand.
It was such a beautiful maneuver unrivalled by any massage maneuver before it.
What was even more funny though, was that when I came back to my chair, sauntering into the office with a smug grin on my face, I sat down to a blank screen and started pressing first my mouse, then my keyboard, and then the power button on my monitor. Nathan had unplugged my keyboard, mouse and monitor from my computer, also unplugging my monitor from the mains, also stealing a key from my keyboard and one of the keyboard stands so the keyboard was wobbling.
After I managed to stop laughing and plugged it all back in, I turned on my monitor and got back to work, only to find out five minutes later than he had changed my desktop background to The Village People and five minutes later still, my name on MSN to ‘The Sensitive Indian One From The Village People’.
Touché Nathan – excellent work. Remind me to kick your ass on Monday and fire you.
The funniest comment on the whole debacle: “Hahaha – The massages are supposed to reduce stress, not increase office tension!â€
June 25th, 2006 at 10:45 am
:: Laughing my f*cking arse off :: That’s so hilarious… Nathan is a gem – I still fall into hesterics thinking about the “driving a Mini at 40 miles per hour in first gear” joke… lmao, lmao… And he told me that in April!!
I’m going to steal that lad, somehow replicate his goofy-goodness and sell it for a furtune!
But! To compliment: where I work, my boss wheels me – yes, literally wheels me out of the production office, away from my desk on my big, over-comfy leather wheely-chair and sits me in the other side of our filming studio, leaving me there until I decide I want to waddle on over, Flinstones transport-style, back to my desk, at which point he’s switched off my monitor and moved my mouse just out of reach, haha.
Sometimes I don’t bother going back, smugly folding my arms or reaching over for a magazine to read… at which point he walks over casually and wheels me back to my table.
You and I both work in a most excellent work environment.
June 25th, 2006 at 10:47 am
(It’s funnier because I’m so short… my chair is large enough for me to sit cross-legged on and still not be falling off the edge…)
June 25th, 2006 at 10:06 pm
Nathan is teh funny! I will get him back though… it may become an ongoing saga… I’m going to start keeping count.
June 26th, 2006 at 9:06 am
How ya liking those muscle knots now b*tch!
Seriously thou… How could you steal my moment of happyness with the fittie german masseuse?! I suppose it’s all for the good really – she may work wonders with my gnarled knotted shoulders, but she does something chronic to my blood pressure!
I’m just waiting for the backlash from Aidan now. Not that I’m bothered – I’m prepared.
To paraphrase “Terrible Terry Tate” – “You’re playing my game now… A pain game I like to call ‘how much pain can Aidan take’… Wooooooo!”
July 5th, 2006 at 10:35 am
See, I read this post but all my brain hears is “Haha, I get free massages at work and you don’t, loser!”…
July 20th, 2006 at 6:13 am
hey Aidan. How have you been. its great to see that you’re still blogging, and apparently doing well. i am going to try to get back into the blogging circuit again. lol. but competing for massages sounds hilarious, like something we would do at my office. haha. Oh and i love all the pictures on your blog now.