Oh hello!
Tuesday, June 8th, 2010* casually walks past the blog and then notices you * Oh hello! You’re still here huh? Wow… I guess it is about time I gave you an update.
So last year when I called my mum, she casually let me know that she had been invited to visit the queen for her services to Relate (bereavement, relationship and child counselling) and Samaritans. My mother is sickeningly modest – virtually no one in the family knew about this and I really don’t understand why she didn’t tell anyone, but I’m very happy for her.
She reminded me of a few other family members who have met the queen. Such as my father who was presented to the queen in 1979 at Queen’s College Cambridge University for his contributions to the university and his college, generally being a good student, president of the debating society, etc. Or my grandfather who was awarded an OBE by the queen for his role at the Institute for Hospital Administrators in helping to start the NHS, as well as a St George’s Cross for his bravery in World War II. And my grandmother who was awarded an MBE for her work in travel for British subjects in the commonwealth… No, I don’t really understand what that means either.
So, since I will never have the opportunity to win any such awards, it’s nice to remember these things. I don’t think winning the award for most profitable person of the year at my last agency is quite on the same level. Close though! Close.
Wait what’s that? This blog is about me and not the ancient members of my family? Dude! I just slipped in an immodest mention that I won some sh*tty award a few years ago, what more do you want!?
Alright alright… The start of this year really sucked for me. At the end of what I’ve officially declared the worst week of my life thus far in which every day was twice as bad as each previous one, I was out with the guys and while they were very generously attempting to cheer me up, my bag was stolen… This was the real icing on the cake for that week. This included my new Macbook Pro, my white iPhone 3GS, my wallet, my umbrella, etc. The response from the police was wholly pathetic and I won’t get into the details of that, since I’ve heard from many friends that seems to be pretty much par for the course. But I will say that I’ve decided to run for prime minister and when I get into power, I will change the system so we only pay the police when they get results. Now THAT will save the taxpayers a lot of money. I hope the criminals who stole it at least got something good out of the deal, otherwise that’s just a huge waste.

I have since replaced the Macbook with a 17″ Macbook Pro with i7 processor. Sanj and I created an un-boxing video as an experiment to see how many hits it would get on Youtube. But it will most likely never see the light of day as it hilariously features Sanj shouting at me for five minutes as I do various things wrong… Sanj: “What are you doing!?!? Sniff the manual! They all do it! Sniff the f***ing manual!!! This is so wrong; I feel like a porn director.”
On the good side, my girlfriend has been incredible throughout this year, just as she has always been. I’m constantly amazed by everything she achieves, and that she still has energy to come home and look after me at the end of each day. Sanj would be annoyed that I mentioned him at all but he’s also been pretty incredible this year, as has Andy, and I want them both to know that I appreciate them both just a little bit more each day * little tear *. Hey it’s my first blog post in a year, I’m going to talk about this crap, okay!?

My brother also had a truly beautiful 1930s styled wedding weekend on Burgh Island (where Agatha Christy wrote her books). I could write a novel on what an incredible experience this was for everyone attending, but instead I would like to thank my brother for choosing such a wonderful venue. During the day you can walk across the beach to the mainland and then in the evening the tide comes in and you’re marooned on the island, inside this very beautiful art deco styled hotel. The highlight for me was the best men’s speeches, which reminded us all of what an amazing person my brother is. I really don’t think we give him enough credit for everything he has achieved in his life. If he sets a goal, then one way or another, he will achieve it. He’s also kind, generous, intelligent… Sorry, one second, a little vomit just came up into my mouth.
Wow this is getting sycophantic. Oh well, I might as well go all out, right!?
Well kids, I think it’s about time we put this post to bed, don’t you? But if there’s one thing I would like you to take away from this post, one life lesson that you take with you for the rest of your days, it’s that I WON AN AWARD FOR BEING THE MOST PROFITABLE PERSON OF THE YEAR B*****S!










