Aidan Williams - High Acuity

John and Vanessa watched, their fingers intertwined, as the sun composed the tropical sky into an exquisite meld of scarlet and blue. The soft, warm sandy beach remained empty around them, just as it had been for the whole day. Now, as the wind whispered to the leaves on the palm trees, John and Vanessa lingered over hot and tender kisses. A moment later John stared deep into Vanessa’s eyes. Sensually, he slid his fingers behind the nape of her neck, slowly leaned her back and…

…And if these two people were given a taste of the dessert I had last Monday evening, they would have stopped what they were doing and paid due attention to this heavenly pudding of the gods.

Sanj and I had our second business meeting at the Gaucho Restaurant in Piccadilly and I’m glad to say the place hasn’t changed since the last time we were there; they still make the best steak I’ve tasted.

What I didn’t know was that they also make the best dessert I’ve tasted. A few months ago I had dessert at the Japanese restaurant Yauatcha in Soho, which had the best dessert I’d ever tasted at the time… But Gaucho Piccadilly has this incredible Dulce De Leche Cheesecake… I’d had the Pancakes and Ice Cream dessert from their menu last time, which I thought was quite nice, but this cheesecake is on a-whole-nother level. It’s almost rude how tasty this dessert is. Everyone should go to this restaurant immediately and eat them out of Argentinean steak and Dulche de Leche cheesecake and then have the place closed down because otherwise I’m going to be a very very fat man very soon.

Sanj has been a very good influence on my health lately – a small area of his desk in our office is covered with natural nutritional supplements, seeds, nuts and oils and he’s got me taking some of them. We also have a healthy juice drink every lunch time from Gogo Juice in the local mall, where they make the juice in front of you with fresh fruit.

Sanj set me the challenge of trying a shot of wheatgrass after he did last week and after having my first shot, it’s become a regular fixture in my lunchtime menu. I think it tastes like peas, while Sanj thinks it tastes a lot like another word beginning with P. It’s not the best-tasting beverage in the world, but it does taste a lot better then a shot of Aloe Vera – the English language lacks the words to describe just how horrible that drink is. But hey – it’s great for your skin!

We’ve finally moved! My girlfriend and I moved into our new flat with my workmate Oleg and his girlfriend Veronika.

I love this new flat. It’s in a fantastic area – we have everything we could possibly need close by – it’s extremely close to work.

On Saturday we invited David and Angela over for a small housewarming of sorts. I was living with David (who I also work with) for a while and already miss him a lot.

I’m not sure quite what our girlfriends were trying to hint to us, but they placed a Dita Von Teese Burlesque Fetish book open on our coffee table, along with the Jack Verttriano art book that I bought for my girlfriend. When I walked in the room and proclaimed “Why have we got porn on the coffee table?”, they both shouted “It’s not porn! It’s Art!”, Veronika continued “I bet it would be another story if your girlfriend were dressed like this!?”, I replied “Sure, but we would probably wouldn’t be having guests round for that… probably.”.

I’m trying to decide whether Oleg and I are the luckiest men on the planet or just part of some sick twisted sexual deviant debauchery that our girlfriends are into. They both look so sweet and innocent, too. Sick Shameful FILTH.

Funnier still was when David walked in, looked at the table and said “Oh fantastic, porn!!”.

Tonight I cooked honey mustard chicken pasta salad for everyone… Heat honey on a low heat, mix it with wholegrain mustard, chop up chicken breasts, marinade in the honey mustard for an hour, heat pasta, drain and leave to cool, make salad dressing with chardonnay, honey, mustard, sugar, salt, black pepper, vinegar and olive oil, fry the honey mustard chicken in a pan on a medium heat with a small amount of butter and olive oil for about ten minutes, mix the dressing with the salad, add the pasta and lastly add the cooked honey mustard chicken. Fricken tasty chicken, if I do say so my self. My brother-in-law taught this recipe to me and it never fails to impress.

We all have Apple laptops in this house, so I thought it would be cool to photograph them all for posterity – I’m funny like that. After mocking me for about sixty seconds, Oleg got out his SLR camera and got a bit carried away. Our girlfriends stood behind us asking “What the hell are you two doing!? You’re seriously troubled”. We shouted back “It’s not porn. It’s Art!!”.

Here are some phrases I’ve said over the last month that have all worked (note: one or two of the names may be changed to protect the innocent):

A text message sent to my flatmate David at 10am, hungover on a Saturday morning:

“David, be a good lad and rustle me up a full English breakfast with a nice big cup of tea. Thaaanks!”

I called him half an hour later to suggest we go out for our usual Saturday morning coffee and he had walked all the way to the supermarket to buy all the ingredients for a full English breakfast!

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Friday afternoon email to the whole company. (Note: We have ten minute professional massages on Thursdays in my company):

“I didn’t get a massage this Thursday, so could anyone who gives a half decent massage come give me one?

Preferably female and hot.

This includes (in no particular order): [list of all the female staff… and one of the directors]”

I got two great massages from one of the designers and one of the account managers – awesome!

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A request to a friend at work one afternoon, as he’s walking past my desk:

“Sanj, be a good boy and make me a cup of tea…” – I hand him my empty mug – “None of that cheap shit the rest of you guys drink – make sure it’s Earl Grey.”

He looks me in the eyes, p*ssed off, but still does it!!

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Last Friday email to the company receptionist at 5pm:

“Rachel, be a good girl and grab me an ice cold beer from the fridge, please.

Cheers.

Aidan”

She brings it, holding it in the way a game show hostess displays the mystery prize, while I continue working – excellent!

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I’ve probably completely ruined the magic by mentioning all this on my blog, but it’s worth it to document it and remember later.

It should be duly noted that most of these people are close friends and have an almost jesus-like tolerance for my idiotic behavior. I make absolutely no guarantees that trying any of this won’t get you beaten up or maimed. You have to keep a stupid smile on your face and make it absolutely obvious that you’re being a complete wanker, when you make these requests.

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Happy Birthday Chorna!! It was Chorna’s birthday on Friday - we’ll all be going to London Zoo next weekend to celebrate!

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We’ve had two barbecues over the last two weekends – the weather has been incredible – is it summer already!?

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Last Friday we had a going away party for our longest standing Account Manager, who joined roughly six months after I did. We’ve worked together a lot over the past two years and she’s heading over to New York to head up our offices out there, next Wednesday. She’s an absolutely incredible woman and always gets things done. I’m not sure quite how we’ll deal without her, but hopefully she’ll only be a phone call away.

We had a great night at Trailer Happiness - a cocktail bar modelling itself on an upscale trailer park – which strangely enough had some of the most expensive cocktails I’ve seen since I came to London.

Good luck!

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Work has been extremely busy; I’ve been doing the front end development for an international fashion brand and spent Friday doing Flash work for luxury hotel brand.