Aidan Williams - High Acuity

We’ve finally moved! My girlfriend and I moved into our new flat with my workmate Oleg and his girlfriend Veronika.

I love this new flat. It’s in a fantastic area – we have everything we could possibly need close by – it’s extremely close to work.

On Saturday we invited David and Angela over for a small housewarming of sorts. I was living with David (who I also work with) for a while and already miss him a lot.

I’m not sure quite what our girlfriends were trying to hint to us, but they placed a Dita Von Teese Burlesque Fetish book open on our coffee table, along with the Jack Verttriano art book that I bought for my girlfriend. When I walked in the room and proclaimed Why have we got porn on the coffee table, they both shouted It’s not porn! It’s Art! Veronika continued I bet it would be another story if your girlfriend were dressed like this!, I replied Sure, but we would probably wouldn’t be having guests round for that probably.

I’m trying to decide whether Oleg and I are the luckiest men on the planet or just part of some sick twisted sexual deviant debauchery that our girlfriends are into. They both look so sweet and innocent, too. Sick Shameful FILTH.

Funnier still was when David walked in, looked at the table and said Oh fantastic, porn!!

Tonight I cooked honey mustard chicken pasta salad for everyone Heat honey on a low heat, mix it with wholegrain mustard, chop up chicken breasts, marinade in the honey mustard for an hour, heat pasta, drain and leave to cool, make salad dressing with chardonnay, honey, mustard, sugar, salt, black pepper, vinegar and olive oil, fry the honey mustard chicken in a pan on a medium heat with a small amount of butter and olive oil for about ten minutes, mix the dressing with the salad, add the pasta and lastly add the cooked honey mustard chicken. Fricken tasty chicken, if I do say so my self. My brother-in-law taught this recipe to me and it never fails to impress.

We all have Apple laptops in this house, so I thought it would be cool to photograph them all for posterity – I’m funny like that. After mocking me for about sixty seconds, Oleg got out his SLR camera and got a bit carried away. Our girlfriends stood behind us asking What the hell are you two doing!? You’re seriously troubled We shouted back It’s not porn. It’s Art!!

Here are some phrases I’ve said over the last month that have all worked (note: one or two of the names may be changed to protect the innocent):

A text message sent to my flatmate David at 10am, hungover on a Saturday morning:

“David, be a good lad and rustle me up a full English breakfast with a nice big cup of tea. Thaaanks!”

I called him half an hour later to suggest we go out for our usual Saturday morning coffee and he had walked all the way to the supermarket to buy all the ingredients for a full English breakfast!

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Friday afternoon email to the whole company. (Note: We have ten minute professional massages on Thursdays in my company):

“I didn’t get a massage this Thursday, so could anyone who gives a half decent massage come give me one?

Preferably female and hot.

This includes (in no particular order): [list of all the female staff… and one of the directors]”

I got two great massages from one of the designers and one of the account managers – awesome!

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A request to a friend at work one afternoon, as he’s walking past my desk:

“Sanj, be a good boy and make me a cup of tea…” – I hand him my empty mug – “None of that cheap shit the rest of you guys drink – make sure it’s Earl Grey.”

He looks me in the eyes, p*ssed off, but still does it!!

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Last Friday email to the company receptionist at 5pm:

“Rachel, be a good girl and grab me an ice cold beer from the fridge, please.

Cheers.

Aidan”

She brings it, holding it in the way a game show hostess displays the mystery prize, while I continue working – excellent!

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I’ve probably completely ruined the magic by mentioning all this on my blog, but it’s worth it to document it and remember later.

It should be duly noted that most of these people are close friends and have an almost jesus-like tolerance for my idiotic behavior. I make absolutely no guarantees that trying any of this won’t get you beaten up or maimed. You have to keep a stupid smile on your face and make it absolutely obvious that you’re being a complete wanker, when you make these requests.

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Happy Birthday Chorna!! It was Chorna’s birthday on Friday – we’ll all be going to London Zoo next weekend to celebrate!

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We’ve had two barbecues over the last two weekends – the weather has been incredible – is it summer already!?

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Last Friday we had a going away party for our longest standing Account Manager, who joined roughly six months after I did. We’ve worked together a lot over the past two years and she’s heading over to New York to head up our offices out there, next Wednesday. She’s an absolutely incredible woman and always gets things done. I’m not sure quite how we’ll deal without her, but hopefully she’ll only be a phone call away.

We had a great night at Trailer Happiness – a cocktail bar modelling itself on an upscale trailer park – which strangely enough had some of the most expensive cocktails I’ve seen since I came to London.

Good luck!

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Work has been extremely busy; I’ve been doing the front end development for an international fashion brand and spent Friday doing Flash work for luxury hotel brand.

A gallery, a theatre, a restaurant – very civilised.

I haven’t seen my girlfriend in three weeks for many reasons and it definitely has been taking its toll on me and even started affecting my work – not very professional I know.

All I’ve ever needed is someone to love – it just so happens I was lucky enough to find someone absolutely incredible to fall in love with and take care of. She’s also one of the only people who can keep me in check.

Unfortunately she hates my work ethic with a passion – understandably – since it keeps us apart for most of the week and the fact that we don’t live together right now doesn’t help either.

We met early this Saturday afternoon and began walking around central London. We stopped at a gallery in New Bond Street exhibiting works by Graeme Wilcox – a Scottish Artist who paints incredible portraits. I wish I could find some pictures online that accurately represent his latest collection – it’s a lot more dark, intense and impressive than any of his previous works. Unfortunately I can’t personally afford the £2K – £7K price tag for one of his paintings just yet.

We had a quick lunch near Piccadilly Circus before going to the London Comedy Theatre where I booked tickets for my girlfriend and myself to see Boeing Boeing – A 1960s French Comedy originally by Marc Camoletti. I decided to pick something different that neither of us had heard of or knew anything about. It’s a brilliant play with a stunning cast and, well – I think TimeOut’s review says it best:

“… Matthew Warchus’s stylish revival of ‘Boeing-Boeing’, a creaky old French comedy recreated as something approaching sublime thanks to a crack cast on tip-top form.

The premise is deliciously reprehensible. Bernard is three-timing a trio of air hostesses, and meticulously plotting their comings, goings and near-misses with the help of the air-traffic timetable. Then one night his country bumpkin comes to stay, and Bernard’s scheme starts to veer off its flight path.”

It’s a fantastically enjoyable piece of light comedy that spans across a single day in the lives of the characters. It’s so fast-paced that it really does feel as though they’ve crammed a full day into two and a half (with intermission) and the storyline is a lot of fun.

After the play, my girlfriend and I went to Café Apogee in Leicester Square, where she had this week’s special: lamb with saffron rice, and I had the Apogee Special – lamb, chicken, beef, salmon and king prawns, also with saffron rice. The décor of the restaurant was interesting – interesting in the respect that we couldn’t quite place it, or fully decipher whether we were in a French restaurant or not – it seems a few of the online restaurant listings are a little confused as well. Never the less, the food was excellent and we will be going back there.

After a short evening walk around central’s back-streets close to St James’ Place, we headed home. It was a great day and just what we needed.