Aidan Williams - High Acuity

We’ve finally moved! My girlfriend and I moved into our new flat with my workmate Oleg and his girlfriend Veronika.

I love this new flat. It’s in a fantastic area – we have everything we could possibly need close by – it’s extremely close to work.

On Saturday we invited David and Angela over for a small housewarming of sorts. I was living with David (who I also work with) for a while and already miss him a lot.

I’m not sure quite what our girlfriends were trying to hint to us, but they placed a Dita Von Teese Burlesque Fetish book open on our coffee table, along with the Jack Verttriano art book that I bought for my girlfriend. When I walked in the room and proclaimed “Why have we got porn on the coffee table?”, they both shouted “It’s not porn! It’s Art!”, Veronika continued “I bet it would be another story if your girlfriend were dressed like this!?”, I replied “Sure, but we would probably wouldn’t be having guests round for that… probably.”.

I’m trying to decide whether Oleg and I are the luckiest men on the planet or just part of some sick twisted sexual deviant debauchery that our girlfriends are into. They both look so sweet and innocent, too. Sick Shameful FILTH.

Funnier still was when David walked in, looked at the table and said “Oh fantastic, porn!!”.

Tonight I cooked honey mustard chicken pasta salad for everyone… Heat honey on a low heat, mix it with wholegrain mustard, chop up chicken breasts, marinade in the honey mustard for an hour, heat pasta, drain and leave to cool, make salad dressing with chardonnay, honey, mustard, sugar, salt, black pepper, vinegar and olive oil, fry the honey mustard chicken in a pan on a medium heat with a small amount of butter and olive oil for about ten minutes, mix the dressing with the salad, add the pasta and lastly add the cooked honey mustard chicken. Fricken tasty chicken, if I do say so my self. My brother-in-law taught this recipe to me and it never fails to impress.

We all have Apple laptops in this house, so I thought it would be cool to photograph them all for posterity – I’m funny like that. After mocking me for about sixty seconds, Oleg got out his SLR camera and got a bit carried away. Our girlfriends stood behind us asking “What the hell are you two doing!? You’re seriously troubled”. We shouted back “It’s not porn. It’s Art!!”.

This entry was posted on Sunday, May 20th, 2007 at 10:11 pm and is filed under General, Humour. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.