Aidan Williams - High Acuity

Here are some phrases I’ve said over the last month that have all worked (note: one or two of the names may be changed to protect the innocent):

A text message sent to my flatmate David at 10am, hungover on a Saturday morning:

“David, be a good lad and rustle me up a full English breakfast with a nice big cup of tea. Thaaanks!”

I called him half an hour later to suggest we go out for our usual Saturday morning coffee and he had walked all the way to the supermarket to buy all the ingredients for a full English breakfast!

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Friday afternoon email to the whole company. (Note: We have ten minute professional massages on Thursdays in my company):

“I didn’t get a massage this Thursday, so could anyone who gives a half decent massage come give me one?

Preferably female and hot.

This includes (in no particular order): [list of all the female staff… and one of the directors]”

I got two great massages from one of the designers and one of the account managers – awesome!

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A request to a friend at work one afternoon, as he’s walking past my desk:

“Sanj, be a good boy and make me a cup of tea…” – I hand him my empty mug – “None of that cheap shit the rest of you guys drink – make sure it’s Earl Grey.”

He looks me in the eyes, p*ssed off, but still does it!!

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Last Friday email to the company receptionist at 5pm:

“Rachel, be a good girl and grab me an ice cold beer from the fridge, please.

Cheers.

Aidan”

She brings it, holding it in the way a game show hostess displays the mystery prize, while I continue working – excellent!

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I’ve probably completely ruined the magic by mentioning all this on my blog, but it’s worth it to document it and remember later.

It should be duly noted that most of these people are close friends and have an almost jesus-like tolerance for my idiotic behavior. I make absolutely no guarantees that trying any of this won’t get you beaten up or maimed. You have to keep a stupid smile on your face and make it absolutely obvious that you’re being a complete wanker, when you make these requests.

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Happy Birthday Chorna!! It was Chorna’s birthday on Friday - we’ll all be going to London Zoo next weekend to celebrate!

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We’ve had two barbecues over the last two weekends – the weather has been incredible – is it summer already!?

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Last Friday we had a going away party for our longest standing Account Manager, who joined roughly six months after I did. We’ve worked together a lot over the past two years and she’s heading over to New York to head up our offices out there, next Wednesday. She’s an absolutely incredible woman and always gets things done. I’m not sure quite how we’ll deal without her, but hopefully she’ll only be a phone call away.

We had a great night at Trailer Happiness - a cocktail bar modelling itself on an upscale trailer park – which strangely enough had some of the most expensive cocktails I’ve seen since I came to London.

Good luck!

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Work has been extremely busy; I’ve been doing the front end development for an international fashion brand and spent Friday doing Flash work for luxury hotel brand.

This entry was posted on Sunday, April 22nd, 2007 at 8:42 pm and is filed under Humour, London. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.